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When operating in a position of leadership, higher demands, pressures, and responsibilities can sometimes make it difficult to cope and effectively manage your work and teams. As a result, resilience is proving more important than ever before to adapt to this ever-changing climate. So today, we’re joined by Dr. Susan Kahn, Business Psychologist and Coach, and author of the new book Bounce Back.

Susan is here to share her expert advice to help business leaders build resilience in themselves and role model this trait to support their teams too.

1. To begin with, please can I ask you to introduce yourself to our listeners and tell us a little bit more about your background and your career journey to date?

(01:16) Yes, of course. Well, I began my career as an anthropology graduate who joined telecoms and later, as you know, moved on to become a Business Psychologist. Telecoms was an extremely exciting time of transformation when I joined and I became fascinated there, both by the way organisations change, the way products and services change, but also about the way people led and directed that change.

And then through various twists and turns, I trained as a consultant using psychoanalytic methods and began to investigate below the surface dynamics in organisations. So, distinguishing between what’s presented and what’s really going on. And this work feeds into everything I do, really. In my writing, my teaching, and my coaching work.

2. And what sparked your interest in resilience led you to write your book Bounce Back?

(02:18) Well, during the financial recession of 2007, I was doing some research in a failed bank, and I had a very privileged position witnessing the very slow shutdown of this organisation, and exploring the experience of loss and endings and really catastrophic change. And it was fascinating to note who within that organisation seemed to work through those challenges with relative ease and those who got stuck and really struggled. And this fascination led to another book on loss and mourning, but ultimately to Kogan Page approaching me about writing Bounce Back.

3. In your book, you devote a chapter to the specific resilience challenges that leaders face. Can you tell us more about this area of developing resilience in a bit more detail?

(03:14) Yes, I think leaders face a challenge when their organisation, or team, or as we’re experiencing now, world events are stressful or demanding. Because they not only have to manage their own fear, their own panic, their own anxiety, and perhaps even dread, but at the same time, be a containing and supportive force for those around them, reassuring those that they’ve kind of got this, that they’re leading those who are turning to them for guidance and support with authority and with capability. And it’s a tough position to be in. So, you’re almost sandwiched between two demanding forces. And perhaps also, this is particularly challenging for newly appointed managers or people who are in new organisations establishing themselves.

4. And why do you think it’s so important for business leaders to build resilience right now? What are the common challenges that resilience will help them overcome?

(04:16) Well, I think it’s very important to acknowledge that we are all in the situation of stress and anxiety, that we’ve been in for a very long time. We have been working and living and experiencing a period of enormous flux, and that has created an opportunity to develop our resilience, but also really to be challenged.

We’ve moved from the resilience that’s required for dealing with an emergency, that fight-flight response, to something immediately challenging, to this very long drip-feed experience where we don’t know the end. So, we’re in a very heightened state and that demands a sense of long resilience. We have the psychological impact of social distancing, the loneliness and fatigue that goes along with that.

And business leaders must communicate constantly to make sure that their people are feeling connected, understood, and supported. And that is much more demanding now, there are so many unexpected things that are happening and so many ways in which people respond to the crisis, that we have a lot of challenges as leaders. And to overcome them, I think that we need to really focus on attending to ourselves as leaders, to our own wellbeing, our own self-awareness.

5. Sticking with this, what are the key benefits of resilience, and are these becoming even more important for leaders to own in this world of work?

(06:02) I mean, you’re so right, Megan, things are changing so fast. It’s hard to anticipate even what’s going to be coming in the next month, never mind in the coming years. So I think that, in terms of the benefits of resilience, it might sound a little bit counter-intuitive for me to report that I think a kinder and more benevolent approach to decisions is a really positive impact of becoming more resilient.

Being able to take a helicopter view— In my work as a mediator, we often use the term ‘turning to the balcony’, taking another perspective on things and developing resilience. We have this capacity to stand back, to leave the current crisis and look at what’s going on and attached to that as a sense of opportunity to learn.

Lots of work has been done on post-traumatic stress and the aftereffects of going through real crisis but there’s less attention given to what’s known as post-traumatic growth, the idea that through real adversity, we can learn and grow so much. And I suspect many people are sitting in that position now, that despite the difficulties, they’ve really grown through this period of challenge.

But just to add, particularly for leaders, this idea of being a model mentor to others can be both a wonderful opportunity for you to share your learning and expertise, but again, another demand. I think generally with resilience, one can turn to the master of resilience, the master of working through adversity, Viktor Frankl, who says that when we’re no longer able to change a situation, we’re challenged to change ourselves. And this is really at the heart of resilience.

6. What traits do leaders need to possess the kind of resilience that we’ve just discussed?

(08:11) Well, resilience is universal. It’s not something that leaders have, or they don’t have. So, if a leader is feeling a little fragile or frail, they can know that it’s something that can be developed. We all have the capacity to become more resilient, but to develop that resilience, you must have a willingness to rethink, to have self-compassion and to consider alternatives.

And I think that Donald Winnicott, the psychoanalyst’s gift to us all ‘good enough’ is a wonderful trope to adopt here. This idea that we don’t have to be perfect, that we can do our best to deliver what we need to deliver, and that’s good enough. And so, abandon this notion of perfection or getting everything right, because it’s simply impossible.

7. Do you have any strategies that leaders can follow to build resilience in themselves?

(09:19) I mean, absolutely. This is at the heart of my work, the idea that we do have tools and techniques and ways in which we can build our resilience, and they don’t have to be hugely time-consuming. Just to give you some ideas, let’s think about in terms of mind, body, heart, and soul.

In terms of the way we think, cognitive reframing, choosing to be optimistic, having what Carol Dweck calls ‘a growth mindset’. So, rather than limiting our beliefs and thinking, “I’m not good at that.” Or, “I’m not good in a crisis.” Or, “I’m always the person who makes a mistake.” To begin to readdress your thinking around yourself, that’s one strategy.

If mind and body are inextricably linked, we’re learning more and more about this, but we must take care of ourselves. It’s not a selfish thing to make sure that we have a walk every day, that perhaps we do some breathing exercises or meditation, that we’re making sure that we’re hydrated, that we’ve got a reasonable diet. These are things that people are like, “Oh no, more and more of the same and same.” But it makes so much sense to take care of our physical selves and that helps our resilience enormously.

And in terms of our relationship with others, we really are social creatures, and we need each other. So, connecting to others, even revealing what you’re struggling with, or what you’ve been pleased with. Bonding with authenticity is a very vital way to build resilience. And at the heart of all this, perhaps the soul of the matter is, being connected to some sense of purpose, believing that the sacrifices you’re making, that the work you’re doing is worthwhile because you’re working towards something that matters to you. So, I think there are some headlines strategies that could really help to build resilience.

8. Is there anything else that our listeners can be doing in addition to what we’ve just discussed?

(11:33) I mean, lots. I’ve got about fifty exercises in Bounce Back but let me just perhaps refer to a few other things.

There’s real value in finding a bit of space to talk and express yourself. And if you don’t have a trusted colleague, a coach, a thinking partner, you might want to do some journaling to make sure you’re expressing your progress or worries yourself. That can be extremely cathartic. And in terms of our brain and our neuroplasticity, to know that we do have the capacity to literally rewire our brains, that our brains can change themselves. This is a wonderful development in understanding brain function that teaches us in very practical ways, but simple ways we can rewire the way we think.

So an exercise, at the end of each day, just thinking about three good things that have happened, that we’ve achieved from the smallest thing, to remembering to make that call or to chairing a meeting well, or remembering to go for a walk can actually allow you to build this optimistic and growth mindset. Generally, I think, forgive yourself for your mistakes. Give up on perfection. I, myself, I’m a retired perfectionist, and I can assure you it’s much nicer on the other side. And learning to say no, I think these are all things that can be of additional help.

9. How important is it for leaders to role model these behaviours to support and build resilience in their teams? And do you have any advice that you can share to help our listeners do this more effectively?

(13:33) Yes, I mean, I think it might sound a little counterintuitive for me to stress that leaders showing vulnerability is one of the most powerful things that they can do. Allowing teams to see that everyone finds things that are difficult, even those with knowledge, power and authority, is a very strong message of, “We’re in this together” and that you’re not expected to get everything right.

And gives a strong message that you’re open to listen and learn. You’re not presenting yourself as a perfect example of a leader or somebody in the workplace. So, I think that vulnerability and recognising that, however hard we try, we’re going to make some mistakes at some point is an enormously powerful and valuable thing that a leader can do. And I think that that message is beginning to change, the idea of strong, unbending leadership is really shifting.

10. On this theme of breaking ideas or notions that there is such a thing as a perfect leader and how leaders should be more vulnerable, do you think it can be beneficial for leaders to let their teams experience failure, to make them more resilient? And if so, how can our listeners support their teams in embracing failure and learning from their mistakes?

(15:00) Absolutely Megan, being able to experience failure is our journey to wisdom. It’s only by trying, failing and learning and trying and failing again, that we do get to any sense of conquering our skills and our knowledge and our understanding. And the wise, I think, that are recognising as soon as they’ve learnt something that they know very little, that other people who are on course to become knowledgeable.

So, I think failure can’t be avoided. It’s universal as is adversity. We’re all going to face some difficulty at some time. We’re all going to have challenges, be that loss, health, or relationship rupture. So, failure is something that hits us all, so hiding it can be really damaging. As a leader, pretending that you never have had a failure can be something that is both inauthentic and also leads to people hiding mistakes, to not doing what we refer to as failing fast, recognising that something has gone wrong, learning from it and fixing it, but kind of brushing it under the carpet.

And, as a society, we’ve seen the damage that can be done in terms of the financial crash, and even with the early responses to COVID-19, of not actually acknowledging when things have gone wrong. And I think this very much connects to the point that we discussed around vulnerability. That it’s okay to fail because, frankly, we all do.

11. What do you think are the three qualities that make a good leader? And crucially, do you think that these qualities have changed because of the pandemic?

(17:12) I love that question because it encourages you to really think and crystallise your ideas around leadership. And so, I would say that, at first, communication is vital in any time of leading and guiding a team. But now, I think it’s communication, communication, communication both as a way of containing i.e. allowing people to understand the parameters of what they’re working in and helping people to have clarity about what’s expected of them, what’s going on.

And most importantly, to be able to listen to what people have to say, both in terms of learning and being able to understand and take the temperature of the room, but also to be able to have a sense of the way you’re managing the crisis, seeing how that’s impacting. And I think in terms of how that element of communication impacts now, I think everything is amplified. Every moment of feeling isolated and disconnected is created in a much more amplified way because we are working with home. We don’t have our colleagues around us, we don’t have the prompts that help us to get through the day. So, communication is one.

I think, secondly, self-awareness, and alongside that, self-compassion. So, to not only know who we are as leaders, perhaps recognising that we might be a bit intimidating to some people, or that we have a certain style, or even that we enjoy recruiting people who agree with us, that have the same kind of sense of values and understanding. And being able to recognise that and to be understanding of that can help us to then make changes and understand our patterns of behaviour.

And then finally, and this is something that I think applies to everybody, is that we must be willing to change and adjust. The necessity of change has never been so dramatic as it has in the last year. But I think that that ability to think again, to question our judgments, to be able to have the confidence to say, “I got that wrong, let’s try something else,” is an amazing quality in a leader.

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